VANCOUVER- Despite the increasing threat of "global cooling," as reported by Fox News, it appears that there may be no snow for the Winter Olympics next week. Olympic organizers are working on last minute contingency plans, replacing traditional winter sports with "more modern" alternatives.
"This could be good for getting a younger audience excited about the games," says Jacques Canard, of the IOC. "The whole notion of snow is very 'last century.'"
Canard hopes to embrace the winter sports of the future, like dirt-sledding. He predicts one of the big crowd pleasers this year will be replacing figure skating with the "not drowning" competition, in which competitors in heavy ice-skates dive into a pond that once would have been frozen in the winter, and perform a challenging four-minute program of struggling not to sink. "Talk about athleticism," Canard raves.
Despite Canard's excitement, many IOC members hope to find a host city with actual snow for the next Winter Olympics, but it may not be easy. With balmy temperatures predicted for most of northern Europe, the Olympic Committee is considering Antarctica as a Winter Games venue, assuming that it still exists in 2014.
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