Thursday, October 28, 2010

Christine O'Donnell Still Not a Witch

DOVER, DE- Christine O'Donnell's "I Am Not a Witch Ad" appears to be paying off. A new poll shows that only one in five Delaware voters believe the teaparty-backed Senate candidate is a practitioner of the black arts who has covenanted herself to Satan in an ancient unholy ritual.
Meanwhile, O'Donnell's opponent, Chris Coons is suffering from falling poll numbers, due largely to his unpopular move of recently turning into a frog.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

US Constitution is Unconstitutional!

Editorial by Irwin Kram
Senior Fellow at the Factual American Research Trust (FART)

At teabagging rallies across the country, the battle cry is always about protecting the Constitution. That's why the liberal media was thrilled to jump all over Senate candidate and self-proclaimed constitutional scholar, Christine O'Donnell when she revealed that she does not know or believe that the First Amendment establishes the separation of church and state.

Likewise, liberals have demonized another tea party Senate candidate, Joe Miller of Alaska. Miller, who has built his campaign on the message that Democrats are taking away our freedoms, supposedly violated the First Amendment's freedom of the press and the Fourth Amendment's freedom from unlawful search and seizure by having a reporter forcibly removed, handcuffed, and detained for asking questions at a campaign event in a public school.

What liberals don't get is that the First Amendment and the Fourth Amendment are themselves unconstitutional! So is the Seventh Amendment, which requires a trial by jury even for terrorists. It's the very freedoms in the Bill of Rights that are the biggest threat to our freedom.

You see, the Constitution isn't a document. It's a gut feeling. No one can define what the Constitution is, but real patriots know it when they see it-- just like pornography-- which of course brings us to Sarah Palin.

Citizen Sarah is touring the nation with the Tea Party Express this week, railing against Obama's big taxes. Now the Democrats will tell you that Obama didn't raise taxes. Technically, he cut taxes for 95% of Americans. But in your gut, doesn't it feel like he raised them? Don't be fooled by the specific numbers on your paycheck, and how they're bigger numbers than they were before. Instead, go with your gut-- which brings me to my final point.

Not only should you trust your gut, but on Nov. 2 you should just sit on the couch and pat your gut. If you want Tea Party candidates to take over Congress and protect our Constitution by protecting us from the Constitution, the best thing you can do is not vote. In Nevada, we're even running ads telling people not to vote. As long as enough people stay home, we've got this one covered. And there is so much good TV on Tuesday nights. If there are long lines at the polls you could miss Glee. In these uncertain times, that's a risk you cannot afford to take. Just stay home and get some rest. It's better for your constitution.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Campaign Finance Gets Outsourced

The 2010 midterm election is on track to become the most expensive election in US history, with nearly $200 million of campaign ads. Roughly 38% is being spent by the US Chamber of Commerce on ads attacking Democrats.

This week the Center for American Progress released a list of 80 foreign companies who have contributed a total of $885,000 to the Chamber, mostly from India and the Kingdom of Bahrain. Like so many of America's other jobs, it appears that campaign financing is getting outsourced.

Traditional campaign financiers are worried. Arlo Pert and his family have been in the political contribution business since his grandfather gave a dollar to Harry Truman in 1948. Now he's afraid he just can't compete. "Those Indian campaign financiers use child labor," Pert complains. "You know how much easier it is to stuff cash in someone's pocket with those tiny fingers?"

There are also concerns that foreign-funded ads may not be subject to the same quality control as American-bought ads. The Washington Post reported this week that many of the Chamber's ads have been recalled because they contained information that was simply false.

Not all of the Chamber's funding comes from India and Bahrain, of course. The Chamber has received $1 million from Fox News owner, Rupert Murdoch, who comes from Australia. This week the Chamber also received a $10,000 pledge from Glenn Beck, who is widely believed to be from the Moon.

Monday, October 11, 2010

US Economy Suffers Multiple Stab Wounds (video)

A live-action political cartoon, featuring Pat Dwyer, Jen Houston, and Allan Piper. Camera by Stephen Mosher.