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HANOVER, NH- In last night's GOP debate, pizza-mogul Herman Cain touted his "9-9-9" tax plan, saying that it had been devised with the help of one of the world's leading economists, some guy who works at a bank in Cleveland. Rep. Michele Bachmann, who recently has slipped behind Cain among mentally unhinged voters, attacked Cain's plan on the grounds that "when you take the 9-9-9 plan and you turn it upside down" it spells "6-6-6."
Accepting Rep. Bachmann's challenge to an all-out crazy-off, Cain reportedly now is developing a new border security plan with the help of a chain-link expert from a Milwaukee Home Depot and a Wichita LoJack salesman.
The Bachmann campaign released a statement that a Cain presidency would be disastrous for the country because the letters from "President Herman Cain" can be re-arranged to spell "I rent penis dancer ham," a phrase that suggests both sexual immorality and the end of American ham ownership.