Monday, November 22, 2010

TSA Seeks Experienced Fondlers to Assist in Groping Travelers

With stringent new security measures going into effect just as the busiest travel season kicks off, the TSA is looking for additional hands to pat, squeeze, and clutch holiday travelers. The agency has placed ads on Craigslist, the nation's most comprehensive database of experienced gropers and mashers. To find truly skilled ticklers, graspers, and fingerbangers, the TSA is also calling for assistance from massage parlor workers, priests, and your strange Uncle Phil.

1 comment:

  1. Forget "enhanced pat-downs". What we really need is "full body cavity" searches or everyone. Grannies, 14 year old girls, blond blue-eyed gay guys in their 20's, for the airline pilots, the cabin crews. And what about the screeners themselves.....everyone of them needs to undergo a "full body cavity" search before being allowed to start work each day....and the Sky Caps, the airline counter clerks, the food service workers, the people in the control towers, the airport police....only then will America be safe......

    Dr. Saul