Saturday, July 10, 2010

LeBron James Announces Weekend Plans on TV Special

MIAMI- Days of speculation came to an end last night, as NBA star LeBron James held a one hour press conference to announce what he's doing this weekend. The self-proclaimed "King James" had been courted by numerous social events, including a wedding, a dinner party, and helping a friend move. Last night, on a special ESPN presentation, a children's choir heralded his entrance as James came forth to declare that he will be "partying with friends" on Saturday and "mostly taking it easy" on Sunday.

The announcement came as a grave disappointment to Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, who had invited James to hear his daughter's piano recital. In an open letter scribbled in crayon on the back of a Wendy's placemat, Gilbert called James' decision "'a' 'cowardly' 'betrayal,'" and swore that the two-time MVP has invoked a curse that will keep him from ever having a good weekend again. He also permanently barred James from his treehouse fort and said that he hopes he gets cooties.

The competition is already on to secure James' companionship for next weekend. New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg has reportedly engaged a major ad firm to persuade James to come to his barbecue. James has yet to comment on whether he will attend.

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