Thursday, February 19, 2009

FASHION WEEK: Edible Shoes

NEW YORK- Anticipating that the economy soon will be so bad that, like Charlie Chaplin in Gold Rush, we all will be forced to eat our own shoes, designers are placing an emphasis on footwear that will be easier to swallow. "There are no more diamond-studded straps," said Jimmy Choo. "That just screams real-estate bubble opulence. And diamonds are very hard to digest." Zippers and buckles are also out, in favor of shoes with simpler, easier-to-chew textures, in soft leathers that can be cut with a good steak-knife.

Pare Gabia has taken the trend a step further, with an espadrille made entirely of bacon, while Christian Louboutin has sent models down runways with their feet stuffed in cans of Spam with the bottoms painted red. When asked whether women might avoid being reduced to shoe-eating poverty by simply not buying $600 shoes, a Louboutin spokesperson laughed in this reporter's face.


  1. Diamonds are actually ideal for this because they don't digest at all and therefore can be later retrieved for re-use. Its a common savings scheme in the fashion world. If people bother eating at all that is.

  2. Hmmm... bacon espadrilles... I want a pair!