Thursday, January 15, 2009

Inquisition Exposes False Advertising

"No rules, just right" is the slogan of the popular food chain, Outback Steakhouse. However, our undercover team discovered that the Australian- themed restaurant in fact has and enforces many, many rules, addressing a wide variety of topics, including what is and is not appropriate dining attire, whether outside food may be brought into the restaurant, how loudly diners may sing while in the restaurant, whether it is permissible to fling food (or other objects) at other customers, whether diners may attempt to operate a business inside the restaurant (such as a lemonade stand or an adult film shoot), and what animals may be brought into/and or released in large numbers within the restaurant (especially with regard to snakes).

In restaurant locations throughout the northeast, our team uncovered no fewer than six-hundred-seventy-three rules whichwhen violated, result in immediate and forcible removal from the establishment. An ongoing lawsuit prevents a more detailed report.


  1. This is stupid. The no rules just right refers to the food. You can order pretty much anything you want how you want it. I dont know about you but i wouldnt want to be eating in a restaurant with snakes crawling around anyways. Dumb article!

  2. ...
    Certain individuals need to develop a sense of humor.