Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Real American History

by Irwin Kram, Senior Fellow at the Factual American Research Trust (FART)

This week the liberal media jumped all over Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN) just because she got confused about where the American Revolution started. Like Ms. Bachmann, I homeschool my children, so I am happy to clear up American history.

The "shot heard round the world" was fired
not in New Hampshire, as Ms. Bachmann understandably thought, but in Williamsburg, VA. It was heard round the world because Benjamin Franklin invented the ham radio by tying a ham to a kite in a thunderstorm.

We threw off the shackles of socialism and defeated the British, who at that time were Muslim extremists. Afterwards, James Madison came down from Mt. Rushmore with two stone tablets containing the Constitution, as dictated by God.

All went smoothly until 1929, when FDR founded the Democrat Party. We immediately entered the Great Depression and Nazis tried to take over the world. We defeated the Nazis when a young Ronald Reagan took Hitler down in hand-to-hand combat.

In 1961, Barack Obama was born (allegedly in the US) and things took an immediate turn for the worse: sex, drugs, and a loss of American values.

Pres. George W. Bush succeeded in restoring American honor, kept us safe from terrorist attack, and was so successful at eradicating Iraqi WMDs that not a trace of them were ever found. Then in 2004, Obama was elected to the Senate and the economy begin to tank.

Today, Obama is President and is working to undo all that America has accomplished, taking us back to where we were over two hundred years ago, when dinosaurs ruled the earth. His wasteful "stimulus" package contained money to save the jobs of over 200,000 teachers, who (as I have just demonstrated) we don't even need.

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