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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Ground Zero Mosque Franchise Comes to Kansas

MANHATTAN, KS- Kansas residents are up in arms over a controversial plan to build a Ground Zero Mosque in lower Manhattan, Kansas, only 1,300 miles from where the Twin Towers once stood. "It's insensitive to build this on the very ground where we were attacked," says Kansas Tea Party member, Mabel Portis, referring to the ground that constitutes the middle latitudes of the United States.

Like the contested Islamic cultural center planned on "hallowed ground" in New York, Kansas' Ground Zero Mosque is not actually at ground zero. Nor would it technically be a mosque. Strictly speaking, it would be a convenience store, owned by Mohammed Ayud, a Muslim Kansan so radical as to share the same first name as one of the 9/11 hijackers.

Opponents of Ayud's plans are quick to point out that they are not attempting to suppress his constitutionally protected freedom of religion. "Nobody is saying he shouldn't have the right to build this," Portis clarifies. "We're just saying he shouldn't be allowed to."

Professional Twitterer, Sarah Palin has jumped into the fray, calling on "both Muslims and Americans to refudiate Kansas' Ground Zero Mosque, as well as the buildification of any similar structurements anywhere else."

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