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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Prophet Muhammad Looks Awful in Photos

The creators of South Park have been the subject of death threats after including a cartoon representation of the Prophet Muhammad in last week's show. Any visual depiction of the Prophet is forbidden under Islamic law because, as those close to the founder of Islam attest, "he hates the way he looks in pictures, especially recently."

In the roughly 1,400 years since founding the world's second most popular religion, the Prophet has reportedly not aged well. "He's got a big bear gut; he's bald," sources close to the Muhammad say, "and somehow after all these years his acne's just gotten worse."

Despite spending thousands on health and beauty products, including Shake Weights and designer eye cream, the Prophet simply is not happy with his appearance, so much so that although his religious teachings are all about love and peace, he is willing to have anyone killed who posts a picture of him anywhere— especially if it was taken at that bachelor party in Reno.

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