Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Family Ends Kid's Tantrum with 'Bipartisan Deal'

ALEXANDRIA, VA- Joe and Lisa Clydemark have ended a six-month-long stalemate with their four-year-old daughter, Trisha with what they are describing as a "bipartisan deal." Last fall, Trisha declared that she would not let her parents drive her to preschool. She wanted to go by herself on a pony they would have to buy her. "She screamed, kicked, held her breath," says Lisa. "It was awful."

Although Lisa and Joe outnumbered Trisha, and appeared to have a clear mandate to decide what was best for the family, they feared that anything short of a truly bipartisan solution would lack legitimacy. After months of intense negotiations, they arrived at a compromise. Trisha would get to go to preschool by herself, but not on a pony. She would instead drive the family car.

"It's not an ideal situation," Joe admits, "but it was the best deal we could get through."

So far, Trisha has killed seven pedestrians, but her parents maintain this is a small price to pay for bipartisanship. "About 45,000 people die from lack of health coverage each year," says Lisa, "so seven pedestrians is a drop in the bucket. What's important is that we're trying to please everyone."

One group of people not pleased are the local police, who would like to arrest the Clydemarks. Joe and Lisa insist that they would prefer not to be arrested. The chief of police is hopeful that they can arrive at a bipartisan solution.

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