Monday, November 16, 2009

Mayans Predict Palin Will End World in 2012

2012 was number one at the box office this weekend. The picture is based on the ancient Mayan prophecy that the world will end in 2012 after Sarah Palin's election as president.

According to Mayan scholars, the ancient mystics believed the end of time would result from the
apotheosis of a charismatic, yet vastly stupid woman, so extremely unsuited for leadership that her rise to power would cause the very universe to collapse in on itself. "The hieroglyphics depict her as a flying huntress," explains Harvard Mayanist, Ian Whetherby, "one who shoots down wolves from a floating chariot that very much resembles a helicopter."

Whetherby warns however, against reading too much into the prophecy. "These are just the attempts of a primitive society to understand their world," advising that any correlation with modern events should be looked on as coincidental.

"That said," he continues, "the inscriptions do specifically name the 'doom-bringer' as Sarah Palin, a former beauty-queen and governor of Alaska, and mother to a brood of offspring with nonsensical names."

When asked about the prophecy at a stop on her book tour, Palin dismissed it as a "wild and paranoid conspiracy theory," and urged the public to focus on the real issues facing our nation, "like how Obama forged his birth certificate to illegally become president, create death panels, and take God off our coins."

No comments:

Post a Comment