Thursday, November 26, 2009

Cheney Criticizes Obama for Pardoning Turkey

WASHINGTON, DC- Pres. Obama gave his first presidential pardon yesterday to a Thanksgiving turkey in a traditional ceremony on the White House lawn. Former vice-president Dick Cheney criticized the pardon, citing it as evidence that the current president is "weak on terror."

In a statement delivered from under the bridge where he lives, Cheney said "this kind of poultry amnesty only makes us more susceptible to bird-based terrorism." Under the prior administration, the turkey had been held without trial in a secret prison, and waterboarded ninety-eight times.

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