WASHINGTON, DC- Volcanologists at the Alaska Volcano Observatory warned this week that Mount Redoubt, just 100 miles southwest of Anchorage, may soon erupt in what could be largest volcanic explosion on US soil in over twenty years. Upon being briefed on the danger, near the end of his first full week in office, President Barack Obama was reportedly irritated.
"Really?" the president is reported to have said, "Really? It's not enough that I inherit two wars and an economic meltdown. Does the earth have to be literally exploding under our feet? This is ridiculous."
In an unrelated crisis, the National Weather Services is warning that it soon will be raining "big buckets of crap" over most of the country. The White House has yet to release a statement.