Thursday, March 26, 2009

BBC Headline: God 'Will Not Give Happy Ending'

The BBC News online today ran a story about the Archbishop of Canterbury's announcement that "God will not guarantee a 'happy ending.'" Upon hearing of the article, Inquisition staffers raced to the site, hoping for news about a heavenly massage parlor, but were disappointed to discover just another dull report about how all life on earth probably will be extinguished by global climate change.

Further research however, revealed that God has in fact opened a massage parlor in east Hollywood, and will give a happy ending if you slip Him an extra twenty and ask for the "altar boy special." Would-be clients are urged to schedule appointments before global warming makes the entire earth bursts into a big ball of flame.

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